Farangis

Farangis
Her father was in his mid fifties ex political section of royal Iranian army{rokne dow} still loyal to his majesty long after his majesty's death and far from his home. He says "we thought all this was temporary we'd seen far worse during Mossadegh years. Some how they all like to lessen importance of Dr. Mossadegh by dropping his academic credentials. Monarchists are so proud of that past the glorious past which brought many technocrats and bureaucrats unprecedented fortune and fame. They were not like those who greatly benefited from monarch and royal court and turned against them as soon as wind changed direction. They blame them for every imaginable crime, yet forgetting one minor fact their total participation in Monarch's tyrannical rule. I'm dating his younger daughter and colonel certainly not pleased with a lefty dating and far worse marrying his daughter. He and his wife principal of a major precollege school were typical of intellectuals selling out after failure of oil nationalization movement. a few months prior to February insurrection they made their move and joined their daughters in marine county Northern California. First he bought a house in a upscale neighborhood and later opened a mechanic shop near by when he saw the funds running low and finally it registered this is not a short stay rather a long exile. As me and Farangis got engaged we'd pay them a visit every other weekend. They'd asked me to stay away from politics and I'd agreed to their demand thinking a little lie would save my relationship with Farangis. Like all exiles colonel had dreams of one day returning to Iran. All exiles regardless of their political beliefs shared this dream, this yearning to go back to the land which once nourished you.
As hostile our two world views were, we tried to make friends and not let politics get in the way of our relationship. He invited me to go fish with him; we took their small boat of to sea for what seemed like a fishing trip. However colonel was obviously concerned for future of her young daughter. He was tall still in shape with a marine county boating club cap on he could easily pass for a Greek fisherman. He grabbed couple of beers and handed one over to me he raised his beer and said "let it go where there is no sadness" I smiled and said to your health. He looked me right in the eye and said "I know who you are and what you are up to." I'm not shocked by his brazen words and motion with my hands as if I'm killing a mosquito in the air and ask what do you mean you know me, what am I up to?
He said I knew your father even though we didn’t share same politics but I had respect for him and his group. When I first joined the military academy many of our instructors had nationalist or communist inclinations. Like many young men of my generation I had leftist inclinations. Your father was a leading member of Tudeh party central committee and oversaw Tudeh activities in Northern Province. He was well respected and yes dedicated to the cause of independence. I say this because I know for a fact that he was opposed to giving Northern oil to Soviets, when most of central committee was for giving Caspian see oil to Russians. Strange years not as strange as what we are going through right now, I understand your dreams hopes and aspirations, however these are decisive years for you and Farangis. What after a few years of marriage you have a child have you thought of your future your child's future? You are responsible for that future more than any political belief, how are you going to guarantee a bright future for that child, do you understand that?" I answer I most certainly do but there are no guarantees sir did you ever think you end up here? Colonel is upset by my question gets up and checks his fishing rod. Obviously I've hit a nerve I'm in another world of my own dreams my promises to recently fallen brave friends. He is not aware of the thoughts torturous nightmares which keep me awake every night or the shame I feel for merely being alive the guilt of leaving friends behind. He brings another bottle of beer opens it hands it to me as if he knows what I'm going thru none the less he continues: " you don't know what you are wasting. This precious gift this life your youth and all its grand possibilities you are throwing it all away. Unfortunately my daughter is following you in the same abyss. "
I'm kind of tipsy from the beer and nostalgic music from the tape player I ask which abyss are you referring to sir he says first and foremost please stop saying sir second you are in it why do you ask me?
You mean to have this hope for a better for world a just and egalitarian society, to end wars, hunger, illiteracy … all this pain and anguish is this what you call the abyss. You refer to this hope as falling in to abyss?
" yes when you put all your life your productive years in to this lofty notion and pursue it as if nothing else matters and when one day you realize how illusive this grand dream was and what great price you have paid for it you understand what I mean by falling in to abyss." As he talks I am reminded of hossein's last month of life after a year o making it out of Iran and then Karachi he had come to ask for work or see if I could find him a job. He was really depressed after a year of hell in Pakistan he was finding himself alone, unemployed with a kid and a wife who had completely abandoned him and their hopes and dreams. After a year of hell in Karachi, loss of his comrades he had made it to Berkeley but completely drained with no money unemployed in a new apathetical and passive surroundings. He finally jumped in to cold water s of san Francisco bay ending his life. I'm nodding my head in agreement yes despair that’s a dangerous place to be. But Mr. Farokhi what you are asking me is to forget the condition of my homeland to forget….
"Yes I want you to pay attention to you and my Farangis I want you to think that but my wanting doesn't change the path you have chosen maybe one day you realize this and I hope it wont be that far, sooner the better. "
I thank him for his concern but almost like a guilty person I confess and give in admitting of having hopes for our future on this planet to some one who I considered a traitor to our nation to humanity's aspirations for a just and egalitarian future. So I ask him why you think some one puts all their effort, life their whole existence to achieve these hopes and dreams. Do you think it's just some personal vendetta against fascism, imperialism or whatever it might be? Why some one throws every thing away and joins revolutionary struggle? He shrugs his shoulder and says "there are so many different reasons all I'm saying is nothing will change".
I ask and how do you explain being thrown out of your own home, living thousands of miles away?
"Yes personally things change" he says" but the way things are, I mean you will always have oppressed and downtrodden as you folks like to say and oppressors. The y only change titles, nationalists, fascists, socialists it doesn't matter. Thing will never change."
I really don't want to get in to this boring argument so I nod as if I'm in agreement. yes quite an odd place to be with your future father in law so I cut his speech short by asking what do you suggest, do you simply ask all the youth students and activists give up and go about their business. He irrevocably answers "yes that’s exactly what I propose just like a horse with side blinders on you must focus on the road ahead not the side ways. I believe you have to achieve beyond what your parents have achieved." He seems tired of this conversation he feels he has delivered the message he stretches and yawns well I don't think we're going to catch anything tonight. Let's head back."
I try to keep a straight face I'm broken inside; I've heard the same arguments from friends. I'm getting used to this none of it really hits the way it should we're heading back and as we get closer to their pier and near their house it's comforting to hear Farangis laughing loud with her mom and sister.